Hi all!
So, still chewing on the idea of closed systems and open systems as defined through quantum physics and in relationship to dreaming.
One thing I did not fully articulate was around the why of what happens within a system that is closed. When a system is closed, matter that cannot leave and is not infused with new matter ends up in a cycle of mutations.
Because, in physics, there is a theory that matter and energy cannot be destroyed or created – just changed.
And matter is not entirely inert – meaning, that even if a system is closed, matter is still based in change and movement. Matter keeps changing, no matter what [haha – just made a pun].
In the closed system, then, matter uses what it has to change. But in the process of change, the change often takes a useful form that, then, in the process of change, becomes less useful. Energy is released, change is made – but what was useful becomes less so.
Okay, I know – physics can be a total mind-f**k for a lot of us. AND – so can the closed systems created by needing to survive in the world, needing to find ways to navigate trauma, needing to twist and turn in a closed outer world system to just live and get by.
Let’s bring this into the realm of the psyche, of our hearts.
Let’s say a child grows up in a family system set by parents who believe they “own” their children and that the children are there to serve the parents. This can lead to things like sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional and spiritual abuse.
So, let’s say the parents believe in physical abuse as a natural right and that children “need” to be beaten in order for them to learn lessons. In this kind of family system, if a child is then physically abused because he/she/they stepped outside of some boundary created by the parents, then the parents will blame the child for the abuse that follows.
They may say, “I don’t want to hurt you, but you spoke back to me, so now I have to discipline you.” They may say, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” They may say, “Why can’t you just ____ so that you don’t have to learn in this way?” They may say, “How much you suffer is dependent on you, not on me.”
If the child does not have access to other possibilities in the world, then the child will believe the parents. Because we believe our parents when we are little. The child grows believing that any hurt they receive is not the abuser’s fault, but his/her/their own.
Survival then may be to try to be hurt as little as possible and follow the rules. Survival may be to rebel and receive a lot of punishment which may reinforce the idea that the fault lies within, not with the abusive parents.
In the psyche of the child, a closed system may be created around all of this. And, as long as they are in that closed system, it just loops around and around.
ow, this child grows and goes into the world. If they stay within the cultural reality of the family, then the closed system continues. But if they manage to leave the cultural reality and expose themselves to other ideas and possibilities in the world [other systems that are open], then there is a possibility to change their inner closed system.
But this can be truly difficult. As many of us know. When we have a belief ingrained into our system since young childhood, it is so difficult to break those beliefs. Even when we are in other possibilities, even when we know intellectually some of the new possibilities, it can be so, so hard to open the closed system within.
Our grown child of the abusive parents, then, may live their adult life blaming themselves for things that happen to them that are not their fault. They may even seek friends, partners, work environments/careers that echo the closed system mentality of their childhood system.
The outer world may look different, but the inner system just loops and loops around and around. And energy is lost – like in physics, the change that happens is not generative but the opposite – degenerative. We lose energy – creative and generative – when we are in the old ways of thinking, believing, surviving.
Which, then, makes it even harder to break the system open. The closed system just feels more and more true, more and more inevitable, more and more small. More impossible to break and bring in anything new.
Things in the world can help interrupt these cycles that loop around until there is no energy left to break them. Yes!
And, things in the world also work to support the closed systems and ideas, especially in cultures that do not like or support change.
Our dreams, though!!
Our dreams come from within and come from a place outside of all systems in the outer world. They have their own multilayered [so many we still do not understand] systems that work to break any closed system that we carry in our psyches.
They work, too, with precision. It’s like this – when we close a door on a system inside of us, we close, lock and seal the door with specific material and ideas. Our dreams come to break those seals and locks with the exact tools needed for them. Precise experiences, challenges, tenderness, wonder, fear – all of it – that our sealed and locked doors need.
Sometimes, it is shocking to have the door opened, even a crack. Sometimes, it is shocking to have the corners of our closed system illuminated. A closed system does not usually open quietly or gently. Sometimes, though, there is relief. Often, so often, there is wonder and possibility, too.
I know I have felt that in my work with dreams. I bet you have, too. Even if you have never “worked” a dream with a dream practitioner.
When a seal is broken, fresh air and wonder can come in and we are infused with new “matter” which can change us.
Next article, we explore particularity of dreaming in terms of open and closed systems both within and without.